Grow up
I feel like I spend a lot of my time anticipating and looking forward to Charlotte's next phases of development rather than appreciate and savor the present. I couldn't wait until she would eat food, crawl, sleep longer (ok that one is acceptable), walk, talk, do things on her own etc. I find myself saying...I can't wait until she can...fill in the blanks...it's whatever thing she isn't doing that I think would make my life easier if she could.
So when do I get to sit back and just appreciate this moment and each and every moment of this incredibly short time? When do I savor each phase and look in amazement and appreciation of how my life has to flex and mold around her at every step...and that I am able to do that?
The other night we took Charlotte for a walk after dinner...it made me remember the hundreds of times we had walked with her when we lived in Boston....to dinner, to the park, just for fun, to help her to sleep, for exercise, for errands. When she was small she would just sleep and we could talk, hold hands and marvel at how quickly life changes when there's a baby to care for. I suddenly realized that with baby number two that we would never have that kind of time again...there will be different moments and that's fine...but why couldn't I have realized then how very special that time was rather than focus on where the road was taking us and not look around and feel the magic. Every time I see a couple with a new baby I want to run up and shake them and tell them to stop worrying about all the new baby things and to be present in that moment. I mean why did you have a baby anyway? So it could grow up and move out?
So when do I get to sit back and just appreciate this moment and each and every moment of this incredibly short time? When do I savor each phase and look in amazement and appreciation of how my life has to flex and mold around her at every step...and that I am able to do that?
The other night we took Charlotte for a walk after dinner...it made me remember the hundreds of times we had walked with her when we lived in Boston....to dinner, to the park, just for fun, to help her to sleep, for exercise, for errands. When she was small she would just sleep and we could talk, hold hands and marvel at how quickly life changes when there's a baby to care for. I suddenly realized that with baby number two that we would never have that kind of time again...there will be different moments and that's fine...but why couldn't I have realized then how very special that time was rather than focus on where the road was taking us and not look around and feel the magic. Every time I see a couple with a new baby I want to run up and shake them and tell them to stop worrying about all the new baby things and to be present in that moment. I mean why did you have a baby anyway? So it could grow up and move out?
posted by Janice at 5:34 AM
2 Comments:
Great post Janice - knowing Ms. Baby will be the last one for our family (likely), I get intensely frustrated when Heather is all "she'll be crawling any minute", "can't we try food again, I know she gagged and threw it all up last time, but come on, one more try", and when she tries to 'walk' her all around. I know she's just excited, the way so many parents get, but back the truck up, I'd like her to be small, cute and imobile for as long as possible :-) I just e-mailed you about sushi!
Read more Mary Oliver - love that you have a quote from her. She's one of my favorite poets, and so few people seem to be familiar with her work.
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