Where am I?
I am in the middle of my hectic but incredible uneventful life...too busy for this blog...but not too busy to spend time on seriously boring crap like washing dishes and picking up toys. Well..if you walked into my incredibly disgusting home right now you might point out the toys everywhere, the dirty rug and all the dishes strewn about. I try to force myself to step away from the computer more and live in the real world with people and sunlight. But I am always sucked back in.
I put too much pressure on myself to make a blog worthy of reading...but perhaps just writing for it's own sake and for my enjoyment is all that matters. I think I also started to make the focus of my blog too much about knitting and since I haven't knit much lately I didn't have much to say. A wise friend has encouraged me to continue blogging so she can stalk me...she said to make it about whatever I want it to be. So here it is. It's about me...my life..boring, exciting, sad, pathetic, mildly interesting, slightly funny, ironic, pathetic...woops...said that already! Hee hee.
So here I am...today I am about 14 weeks into my impregnated state...slightly in denial still. Very very hungry. Not so tired anymore. Working out again...which often involves dragging 2 year old daughter outside, strapping her into stroller, shoving crackers in her hands and pushing her around the neighborhood...also involves me trying to look pregnant (and not just really thick in the middle) at the gym so all the meatheads understand that I am knocked up and not interested in lame jokes about weight lifting (ok...that happened once...the meatheads aren't so bad). Feeling much better when I get exercise.
On a very sad sad note. My dh's wonderful, funny, sweet, loving, strong, determined but very very sick cousin passed away last Saturday (Feb 11th). She fought Cystic Fibrosis for 21 long years and it finally got it's way. Despite a very successful double lung transplant (and I thought a c/s was tough) last year...and a year of (finally) long, deep breaths...her body realized that those lungs just did not belong to her. She kept getting sick...and she kept fighting back! But this time...after a week or so in a medically induced coma, while her kidney's failed and her nose wouldn't stop bleeding into her mouth and all over her swollen face, and her body convulsed for each shallow breath granted by the machines...her parents had to make the excruitating, unimaginable choice to take her body off the life support. I cannot imagine the agony they must have endured watching her life slip away over the next 15 minutes. There is nothing you can do...no matter how much time, no matter how much you might believe in God or Goddess...or Buddha or Allah or puppy dogs...to prepare you for this good bye. Knowing all along that you'd have to let go someday almost seems to make it even worse.
I put too much pressure on myself to make a blog worthy of reading...but perhaps just writing for it's own sake and for my enjoyment is all that matters. I think I also started to make the focus of my blog too much about knitting and since I haven't knit much lately I didn't have much to say. A wise friend has encouraged me to continue blogging so she can stalk me...she said to make it about whatever I want it to be. So here it is. It's about me...my life..boring, exciting, sad, pathetic, mildly interesting, slightly funny, ironic, pathetic...woops...said that already! Hee hee.
So here I am...today I am about 14 weeks into my impregnated state...slightly in denial still. Very very hungry. Not so tired anymore. Working out again...which often involves dragging 2 year old daughter outside, strapping her into stroller, shoving crackers in her hands and pushing her around the neighborhood...also involves me trying to look pregnant (and not just really thick in the middle) at the gym so all the meatheads understand that I am knocked up and not interested in lame jokes about weight lifting (ok...that happened once...the meatheads aren't so bad). Feeling much better when I get exercise.
On a very sad sad note. My dh's wonderful, funny, sweet, loving, strong, determined but very very sick cousin passed away last Saturday (Feb 11th). She fought Cystic Fibrosis for 21 long years and it finally got it's way. Despite a very successful double lung transplant (and I thought a c/s was tough) last year...and a year of (finally) long, deep breaths...her body realized that those lungs just did not belong to her. She kept getting sick...and she kept fighting back! But this time...after a week or so in a medically induced coma, while her kidney's failed and her nose wouldn't stop bleeding into her mouth and all over her swollen face, and her body convulsed for each shallow breath granted by the machines...her parents had to make the excruitating, unimaginable choice to take her body off the life support. I cannot imagine the agony they must have endured watching her life slip away over the next 15 minutes. There is nothing you can do...no matter how much time, no matter how much you might believe in God or Goddess...or Buddha or Allah or puppy dogs...to prepare you for this good bye. Knowing all along that you'd have to let go someday almost seems to make it even worse.
posted by Janice at 11:18 AM
1 Comments:
Oh Janice, I'm so sorry for the loss of DH's cousin. My step-father lost his daughter to this terrible disease 7 years ago - exactly one year after he learned she existed - when she was about 23. It's harrowing and devastating and just literaly sucks the life out of you. Although this may seem trite, she truly is not suffering any longer and she was able to share 21 years on this earth with her family. May DH's family know peace and healing during this difficult time.
On a completely different not, I'm really glad your blogging again. I can't wait to hear your plans for HBAC! I wanted my blog to be about knitting, but it's just not, it's about everything else, and I actually like it that way. I've let myself off the hook so to speak about what topics I talk about - I just talk about whatever. Enough blah blah blah - we should get together soon!
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